*big blush*
Ok, well… yeah, I havn't been very good at ALL about writing in my blog. I know it's a shame. *looks down and shuffles feet* I thought I could do better, but everything has been soo busy the last 2 months. So, here I am again, going to write about the amazing time that I had.
Well, my last post was me scared stiff about school. Wondering about how it's going to be, how my class will be, how the schoolculture was going to be. In short, every single small thing from wondering if I have the right pencils to anxiety about getting laughed at because of my German.
God surprised me. Again.
First, the new experience of having to wait for the bus in the freezing morning hours of the day. (Yes, when I look back I laugh at those 10 degrees, compared with the 0 degrees we had 2 weeks ago.) And, then boarding the bus and seeing row upon row of faces staring blankly ahead. Now, our bus is packed - and, we happen to be the last stop before heading up the hill to the school around 4 km away. That means that I never have a place, and never always have to stand for the 15 minute drive… which isn't too bad actually.
Well, the first day of school I was quite ignored by my class. I came in, sat down and was immediately told by a student to "Vote for Felix"… Ok… who is Felix? What are we voting for? Aren't you going to say something else?
Well, I did vote for Felix; partly because I didn't know the name of the other candidate (ok, mainly because…). But the cool thing was that the other candidate, who actually one, ended up being the closest thing I can call as a 'friend' in my class, which is great. After the voting our teacher went through the list of rules about the school.
Some information about the school: it's name is 'Reichsstadt Gymnasium Rothenburg ob der Tauber' (Rothenburg is our town), and it is the 3rd and last step of high school. From grades 5-13, there are 3 types of school available: Hauptschule, Realschule and Gymnasium, respectively placed in order of education level.
The Gymnasium has roughly 800 students and has a reasonably modern campus, which is always nice. Thankfully, they heat in the building; so I don't have to freeze during the first few lessons of school.
After the very short school part on the first day, there was a 'Church service' for all the students in the Landchurch. It's all tradition though, and very few of the students actually care about whatever is said, or think about it… from what I picked up, at least.
Of course, I went there, and was completely surprised by God, who really proved to me that He is watching over me and cares for me in this new situation that I am in.
During the summer I really made it my goal to try and spend at least an hour of my time in prayer and bible reading in a quiet place. Since our house is quite small, I cannot concentrate in the few rooms that we have and am forced to go outside. I am very thankful for this 'inconvience', as it really provides me a place of peace and quiet where I can talk with my Savior and Lord. My spot was a beautiful little niche along the banks of the Tauber, surrounded by forest and all kinds of amazing wildlife (like an otter).
And once during one of these prayers, there came to me the sudden thought about praying for an MK. I though, "What?? Praying for an MK in my school? Pleasee… that would be too much to ask. I mean, what are the chances of that." It wasn't that I doubted that God could do that. I was very aware that there is absolutely nothing that can stop God from carrying out his plans. But someone, I just did not think that God would do it. I couldn't see why God would do it anyway. But the thought was persistent and for the next 2 days it kept on coming back to me. And then finally I thought, "Why not? I might as well. The Lord already knows my thoughts and wishes (It was certainly my wish!), so what stops me from simply asking.
So, that's what I did, but I went the whole way, and made my prayer request as unlikely as possible. Maybe I still thought that nothing would come of it, but if I ask for much, maybe I won't be disappointed. I was about to be surprised.
And so, I prayed for an MK to be in my age group, in my class and to live in my town. And, the first few weeks after my thought I did pray for it - but slowly, it began to fade as different subjects flooded my mind and eventually I forgot all about it.
Then, about 1 week before the start of school, I went to our bibelstudy group on Thursday, which was composed of alot good strong Christians from our church, and is led by our pastor. I really like the group, even though it is mainly adults that come there, but that's ok with me. On that Thursday, we met a Christian from the area who was going to be leaving for Bibelschool the next week. And then, on Friday, our youth pastor called my bro and I and asked if we were interested in attending a goodbye party for this person.
At first I was kinda skeptic. I barely knew the person, and was hardly qualified to go to a goodbye party… but in the end I decided to tag along all the same.
And at this party, the host introduced me to another Christian who would be in my class. (I had previously wondered aloud on Thursday whether I would have any Christians in my class.
I said "Hi" to her, smiled a bit…. and moved on again, since conversation wasn't exactly on the menu.
Now, several days later I'm sitting on a bench outside of the massive, 800 year old church in our town and waiting for the service to start, scanning the crowd for a glimpse of one of the 3 people I know. And then this same person that I said "Hi' to, sits down next to me with a bunch of her friends and starts a conversation. Now, that caught me slightly off guard… since, put bluntly, that is not German! My previous years of experience tell me that the average German youth will not go out of their way to say "Hey" to a virtual stranger, let alone start a conversation.
But, I was more than happy to talk, bored as I was and explained part of my life as a missionary kid in Africa.
Response: "Hey, cool! I also grew up in a foreign country! The first 10 years of my life I lived in Paraguay with my parents!"
I nearly fainted.
As it turns out, this person in my class was a christian TCK for 10 years, and was the first person to talk to me on the first day of school.
Immediately my thoughts flashed back to my prayer many weeks before; for an MK in my class and age group… and I was so surprised. I really didn't think that God would grant me my 'crazy request' and I was perfectly fine with receiving a clear 'No!'. But, once again God proved to me that He watches over for me and listen to all of my crazy ideas.
Yes, granted a TCK isn't exactly an MK, but a Christian TCK comes pretty close. And granted, the class of 10b isn't exactly 10a… but some classes and the same and the intra-class relationships are much better than intra-grade relationships.
The first week of school slowly got better and better. God completely surprised me in making it far better than I ever expected and really helping me to adjust to life in school. I started to make friends and was blessed with kind and friendly teachers.
And, although my TCK friend seemed to have disappear back into the unknown and I rarely talk to her anymore, I'm still reminded of the hope that the Lord placed in me on that first day.
"I'm looking after you, and love you more than you can imagine…"
Monday, 10 November 2008
Monday, 15 September 2008
beginning of school.
Well. School starts tomorrow. A completely new experience for me. I really have no idea what to expect. I'm allready used to getting up early and having only a few minutes to prepare myself. But really, the whole concept of moving more than 40metres to go to school is quite strange at best.
And then these massive classes too. For my last 2 years in boarding school I was the only one in my classs (officially.) And now in my new school, 30 x 3 students in my grade (or was it 4...). I can barely imagine that. It's like everyone in my old school stuffed in one classroom. (With about 15 extra, though.)
But yes. To say that I'm nervous is an understatement. Although I wish it were slightly easier, I'm thankful that I finally have this in front of me. My little boat is sailing out into the rapids, after being docked in a harbor for 16 years.
Sadly it's not only the culture that is the problem but also the language. As English is my first language, and I've done the English system all I life; I find it considerably difficult to suddenly switch with so many names and phrases being different.
If you could hold me in your thoughts and prayers over the next few weeks that would be really appreciated. I remember that a few months ago I was doing a work experience in a French hospital and several times I really just felt completely fatigued and worn out (not to mention slightly sick at seeing someone getting cut open.) But the knowledge that many people were praying for me, all over the world really made my week so much better. Specific points:
- That I'd find a sense of calm through all this hectic.. and a good time in the morning to read my Bible and pray
- That I would be able to find good friends in my grades, and for wisdom in these decisions.Good contact with the other Christians.
- That the sudden culture shock wouldn't overwelm me and that I'd not hide in my shell like a turtle, but come out and socialise.
- That I could be a light for Him. And for wisdom in witnessing.
- Finally; ease in slipping into the new and more difficult system. Especially physics and German.
Thank you all for your prayers and support. It's a real blessing.
And then these massive classes too. For my last 2 years in boarding school I was the only one in my classs (officially.) And now in my new school, 30 x 3 students in my grade (or was it 4...). I can barely imagine that. It's like everyone in my old school stuffed in one classroom. (With about 15 extra, though.)
But yes. To say that I'm nervous is an understatement. Although I wish it were slightly easier, I'm thankful that I finally have this in front of me. My little boat is sailing out into the rapids, after being docked in a harbor for 16 years.
Sadly it's not only the culture that is the problem but also the language. As English is my first language, and I've done the English system all I life; I find it considerably difficult to suddenly switch with so many names and phrases being different.
If you could hold me in your thoughts and prayers over the next few weeks that would be really appreciated. I remember that a few months ago I was doing a work experience in a French hospital and several times I really just felt completely fatigued and worn out (not to mention slightly sick at seeing someone getting cut open.) But the knowledge that many people were praying for me, all over the world really made my week so much better. Specific points:
- That I'd find a sense of calm through all this hectic.. and a good time in the morning to read my Bible and pray
- That I would be able to find good friends in my grades, and for wisdom in these decisions.Good contact with the other Christians.
- That the sudden culture shock wouldn't overwelm me and that I'd not hide in my shell like a turtle, but come out and socialise.
- That I could be a light for Him. And for wisdom in witnessing.
- Finally; ease in slipping into the new and more difficult system. Especially physics and German.
Thank you all for your prayers and support. It's a real blessing.
"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7
Thursday, 11 September 2008
Germany
Germany. Cold. Wet. A place where 25 degrees (celcious) is considered a great summer day. A strange place where the sun never seems to set in the summer ('never' is a gross overstatement I know... but yeah!) and a land where the culture is 'cold'.
Ok, so I've been here in Germany almost 2 months now and It's different from Senegal. Very different, but hey.. that's what I expected. Of course; while some things I braced myself for... others I didn't realise and got shocked. With no disrespect to Germany; it's a great place and I love it... but just so incredibably new to me in many ways.
But I'm going to give those of you who don't know a background info.
We arrived the 18th of July at Frankfurt am Main and found our luggage in record time, which was nice. Now our hometome lies 3 hours-ish away smack-bang in the middle of Germany: a beautiful little medieval town called Rothenburg ob der Tauber. Now, if any of you are Japanese you will have certainly heard the name before 'cause I am positive they must hand out brochures about this place at every tourist agency in Japan - the streets are filled with them. That's pretty cool though, because I fit right in if my accent isn't right... or if I have the sudden urge to walk around the town with a camera in my hand and look like a tourist.
The town is amazing though! A complete city wall which you can walk around and only medieval buildings within these walls which come with about a hotel every 50m, a shop every 45m and some craftsman every 100m (exaggerated yes... but there are really loads of them.)
And well, the landscape is really amazing. For someone who has grown up with dry flat shrubby planes... well, a river looks mighty fine here. As do the forests and the inexhaustible network of biking trails in the woods and running routes.
But what has really been the best thing about Germany, or at least the most surprising to me in the church. I'm so thankful to the Lord for completely changing my expectations of that our church was going to be like. From experience from previous years I expected the youth program to be non-existant and generally no feeling of belonging to a group. This is completely different this year! Wow, God surprises me again and again!
This year we have a new youth pastor and he is awesome! Our youth group has really done all kinds of new and interesting things during the summer. Water skiing, train trips to [shop], biking trips, and about 4 barbecues a week. Awesome! We've gone on adventure journeys in the woods and overnighted in a small log cabin... gone swimming at the pool. Every week several activities.
And for that I'm really thankful for. As an MK I always had the mindset that I just need to talk with someone long enough to build a relationship. Here, it seems as if the experiences are what ties the people together.
It is different. The culture is different and that is really the culture-shock that I got. You always think you're prepared and then it hits you in the face, again and again.
When I came into Germany I had one mindset that has given me hope, and encouragement. Shine for Him! I'm coming into a public school where there isn't much light; in every class or so there are not many hardcore Christians from what I understand. I have had the privilege to experience God move in Africa and to hear miraculous story's in the Church. I've grown up in a great boarding school with strong foundations and now I really feel that the Lord has a plan for me in Germany, and the first step is to live for him.
This verse has come to me often of late as school approaches:
"
As school start tomorrow I can't really concentrate on this, hence the reason it's so short.
Be blessed.
Ok, so I've been here in Germany almost 2 months now and It's different from Senegal. Very different, but hey.. that's what I expected. Of course; while some things I braced myself for... others I didn't realise and got shocked. With no disrespect to Germany; it's a great place and I love it... but just so incredibably new to me in many ways.
But I'm going to give those of you who don't know a background info.
We arrived the 18th of July at Frankfurt am Main and found our luggage in record time, which was nice. Now our hometome lies 3 hours-ish away smack-bang in the middle of Germany: a beautiful little medieval town called Rothenburg ob der Tauber. Now, if any of you are Japanese you will have certainly heard the name before 'cause I am positive they must hand out brochures about this place at every tourist agency in Japan - the streets are filled with them. That's pretty cool though, because I fit right in if my accent isn't right... or if I have the sudden urge to walk around the town with a camera in my hand and look like a tourist.
The town is amazing though! A complete city wall which you can walk around and only medieval buildings within these walls which come with about a hotel every 50m, a shop every 45m and some craftsman every 100m (exaggerated yes... but there are really loads of them.)
And well, the landscape is really amazing. For someone who has grown up with dry flat shrubby planes... well, a river looks mighty fine here. As do the forests and the inexhaustible network of biking trails in the woods and running routes.
But what has really been the best thing about Germany, or at least the most surprising to me in the church. I'm so thankful to the Lord for completely changing my expectations of that our church was going to be like. From experience from previous years I expected the youth program to be non-existant and generally no feeling of belonging to a group. This is completely different this year! Wow, God surprises me again and again!
This year we have a new youth pastor and he is awesome! Our youth group has really done all kinds of new and interesting things during the summer. Water skiing, train trips to [shop], biking trips, and about 4 barbecues a week. Awesome! We've gone on adventure journeys in the woods and overnighted in a small log cabin... gone swimming at the pool. Every week several activities.
And for that I'm really thankful for. As an MK I always had the mindset that I just need to talk with someone long enough to build a relationship. Here, it seems as if the experiences are what ties the people together.
It is different. The culture is different and that is really the culture-shock that I got. You always think you're prepared and then it hits you in the face, again and again.
When I came into Germany I had one mindset that has given me hope, and encouragement. Shine for Him! I'm coming into a public school where there isn't much light; in every class or so there are not many hardcore Christians from what I understand. I have had the privilege to experience God move in Africa and to hear miraculous story's in the Church. I've grown up in a great boarding school with strong foundations and now I really feel that the Lord has a plan for me in Germany, and the first step is to live for him.
This verse has come to me often of late as school approaches:
"
So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace."
2 Timothy 1: 8-9
As school start tomorrow I can't really concentrate on this, hence the reason it's so short.
Be blessed.
Thursday, 4 September 2008
a new life
If any of you were (which I highly doubt) to read my journal you'd be considerably surprised to find many places only half written in or my entry going from present tense to past tense suddenly, or you'd find several days missing suddenly. You see, the hardest thing about a journal was coming back from an eventful day and writing half the entry, and yet eventually getting too tired to continue and fall asleep. And then the next day- which also happened to be an eventful day, (trust me, it's not that hard to have an eventful day when you're an MK ); and I feel obligated to finish the last day before starting the current one and slowly over the week I fall back until I realise I'm 4 days behind... You can see why I don't like writing about the long gone past. And now is that I'm writing a blog entry to something that happened 2 months ago. Problem. However, the least I can do is have a good begin to my blog; so here goes. I left Senegal, W. Africa; it was a Thursday and the 17th of July. For the last week everything just didn't feel real; It felt like I was only going on a furlough trip - that I'd, in the next 3 months, land again safely on African soil and belong once more. And then 3 hours before our car was due to leave, it hit me. This is it. It's happening... there's no turning back, I'm going to have to ride the wave to the shore. Tonight ends an era; a chapter of my life. A new page that I'll have to trust the Lord will write. Many thoughts zoomed through my head those last hours. But most of all, memories. Memories of years back, everything I see is associated with some memory of the past. The people I met, and left. The actions, the laughs, the tears, the dreams and the games at our retreats. And that's what I will miss most - being reminded of my life. Looking back on those moments I can only describe the feeling as anxiety and regret. It is the identical feeling that I have before the large concert recital, or just before a long and hard competitive race. "I wish this wasn't happening!". You can't eat, sleep and even trying to distract yourself doesn't work. But it happened... it wasn't a bad dream; even though everything felt slightly unreal, and then sitting in the plane knowing that my life has changed - that it will never be like it was. What a powerful feeling! And what a scary reality. But, in all of this I had a divine peace about everything. Time and time again my Lord has proven himself faithful, even when I've forsaken and denied him like Peter. And one thing has really encouraging through out the months of re-entry. Through the chaos, I hold onto the fact that I am a stranger in this world. I do not belong here; I belong in a better place. And one day, one amazing day I fill fade away from this earth and begin my last ever re-entry - and that re-entry won't be difficult or hard in any way, but beautiful. That makes the difference for me. And while living forever, and no more sickness and pain excites me immensely; I think that the most special thing for me is love. One of my absolute favorite bands is Hillsong United and one song that has really... excited me is the song called "Where the love lasts forever":
Your mercy found me,
Upon the broken road,
And lifted me beyond my failing,
Into Your glory,
My sin and shame dissolved,
And now forever Yours I'll stand.
In love never to end,
To call You more than Lord,
Glorious friend.
So I throw my life upon all You are,
'Cause I know You gave it all for me,
And when all else fades,
My soul will dance with You,
Where the love lasts forever
Yes, God loves us the same now as He will when we are with him. But in heaven I believe that we will finally understand the full extent of his love; something that on earth we just cannot fathom. And to think that his love will last forever and ever; and the knowledge that not only does Christ love us, but also our brothers and sisters in Christ! Wow! Love that Christ showed on the cross, clearly visible for our now opened eyes to see. And that is why I call my blog 'longing for home'. This is my hope and strength and I truly can't wait for the time. I feel it in my soul; a sense of not belonging; here, on Earth.
And now, I am in Germany.
In an email to a friend, I described my life as if I were in the magical world of Narnia. My life as an MK has been special, almost magical in the things I experienced 'on the other side of the ocean'; my life was lived there. I grew up there; it's all I know. And then, suddenly I'm thrown back into the 'real world'; the world where I'm expected to be in by society. And it is different; but the right perspective and positive attitude is so important. I must realise that the culture here is different... it is not like Africa; but it's like where I am and it will be my home. My new life has begun; the Lord has blessed me already in countless ways... I pray that when my time goes to leave this life behind; perhaps a new chapter or a calling home, that these memories will be mixed in with the amazing memories from Africa.
Your mercy found me,
Upon the broken road,
And lifted me beyond my failing,
Into Your glory,
My sin and shame dissolved,
And now forever Yours I'll stand.
In love never to end,
To call You more than Lord,
Glorious friend.
So I throw my life upon all You are,
'Cause I know You gave it all for me,
And when all else fades,
My soul will dance with You,
Where the love lasts forever
Yes, God loves us the same now as He will when we are with him. But in heaven I believe that we will finally understand the full extent of his love; something that on earth we just cannot fathom. And to think that his love will last forever and ever; and the knowledge that not only does Christ love us, but also our brothers and sisters in Christ! Wow! Love that Christ showed on the cross, clearly visible for our now opened eyes to see. And that is why I call my blog 'longing for home'. This is my hope and strength and I truly can't wait for the time. I feel it in my soul; a sense of not belonging; here, on Earth.
And now, I am in Germany.
In an email to a friend, I described my life as if I were in the magical world of Narnia. My life as an MK has been special, almost magical in the things I experienced 'on the other side of the ocean'; my life was lived there. I grew up there; it's all I know. And then, suddenly I'm thrown back into the 'real world'; the world where I'm expected to be in by society. And it is different; but the right perspective and positive attitude is so important. I must realise that the culture here is different... it is not like Africa; but it's like where I am and it will be my home. My new life has begun; the Lord has blessed me already in countless ways... I pray that when my time goes to leave this life behind; perhaps a new chapter or a calling home, that these memories will be mixed in with the amazing memories from Africa.
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