beginning of school.

Well. School starts tomorrow. A completely new experience for me. I really have no idea what to expect. I'm allready used to getting up early and having only a few minutes to prepare myself. But really, the whole concept of moving more than 40metres to go to school is quite strange at best.
And then these massive classes too. For my last 2 years in boarding school I was the only one in my classs (officially.) And now in my new school, 30 x 3 students in my grade (or was it 4...). I can barely imagine that. It's like everyone in my old school stuffed in one classroom. (With about 15 extra, though.)
But yes. To say that I'm nervous is an understatement. Although I wish it were slightly easier, I'm thankful that I finally have this in front of me. My little boat is sailing out into the rapids, after being docked in a harbor for 16 years.
Sadly it's not only the culture that is the problem but also the language. As English is my first language, and I've done the English system all I life; I find it considerably difficult to suddenly switch with so many names and phrases being different.

If you could hold me in your thoughts and prayers over the next few weeks that would be really appreciated. I remember that a few months ago I was doing a work experience in a French hospital and several times I really just felt completely fatigued and worn out (not to mention slightly sick at seeing someone getting cut open.) But the knowledge that many people were praying for me, all over the world really made my week so much better. Specific points:
- That I'd find a sense of calm through all this hectic.. and a good time in the morning to read my Bible and pray
- That I would be able to find good friends in my grades, and for wisdom in these decisions.Good contact with the other Christians.
- That the sudden culture shock wouldn't overwelm me and that I'd not hide in my shell like a turtle, but come out and socialise.
- That I could be a light for Him. And for wisdom in witnessing.
- Finally; ease in slipping into the new and more difficult system. Especially physics and German.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. It's a real blessing.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7

Germany

Germany. Cold. Wet. A place where 25 degrees (celcious) is considered a great summer day. A strange place where the sun never seems to set in the summer ('never' is a gross overstatement I know... but yeah!) and a land where the culture is 'cold'.
Ok, so I've been here in Germany almost 2 months now and It's different from Senegal. Very different, but hey.. that's what I expected. Of course; while some things I braced myself for... others I didn't realise and got shocked. With no disrespect to Germany; it's a great place and I love it... but just so incredibably new to me in many ways.
But I'm going to give those of you who don't know a background info.
We arrived the 18th of July at Frankfurt am Main and found our luggage in record time, which was nice. Now our hometome lies 3 hours-ish away smack-bang in the middle of Germany: a beautiful little medieval town called Rothenburg ob der Tauber. Now, if any of you are Japanese you will have certainly heard the name before 'cause I am positive they must hand out brochures about this place at every tourist agency in Japan - the streets are filled with them. That's pretty cool though, because I fit right in if my accent isn't right... or if I have the sudden urge to walk around the town with a camera in my hand and look like a tourist.

The town is amazing though! A complete city wall which you can walk around and only medieval buildings within these walls which come with about a hotel every 50m, a shop every 45m and some craftsman every 100m (exaggerated yes... but there are really loads of them.)
And well, the landscape is really amazing. For someone who has grown up with dry flat shrubby planes... well, a river looks mighty fine here. As do the forests and the inexhaustible network of biking trails in the woods and running routes.

But what has really been the best thing about Germany, or at least the most surprising to me in the church. I'm so thankful to the Lord for completely changing my expectations of that our church was going to be like. From experience from previous years I expected the youth program to be non-existant and generally no feeling of belonging to a group. This is completely different this year! Wow, God surprises me again and again!
This year we have a new youth pastor and he is awesome! Our youth group has really done all kinds of new and interesting things during the summer. Water skiing, train trips to [shop], biking trips, and about 4 barbecues a week. Awesome! We've gone on adventure journeys in the woods and overnighted in a small log cabin... gone swimming at the pool. Every week several activities.
And for that I'm really thankful for. As an MK I always had the mindset that I just need to talk with someone long enough to build a relationship. Here, it seems as if the experiences are what ties the people together.
It is different. The culture is different and that is really the culture-shock that I got. You always think you're prepared and then it hits you in the face, again and again.

When I came into Germany I had one mindset that has given me hope, and encouragement. Shine for Him! I'm coming into a public school where there isn't much light; in every class or so there are not many hardcore Christians from what I understand. I have had the privilege to experience God move in Africa and to hear miraculous story's in the Church. I've grown up in a great boarding school with strong foundations and now I really feel that the Lord has a plan for me in Germany, and the first step is to live for him.
This verse has come to me often of late as school approaches:

"

So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace."
2 Timothy 1: 8-9

As school start tomorrow I can't really concentrate on this, hence the reason it's so short.
Be blessed.

a new life

If any of you were (which I highly doubt) to read my journal you'd be considerably surprised to find many places only half written in or my entry going from present tense to past tense suddenly, or you'd find several days missing suddenly. You see, the hardest thing about a journal was coming back from an eventful day and writing half the entry, and yet eventually getting too tired to continue and fall asleep. And then the next day- which also happened to be an eventful day, (trust me, it's not that hard to have an eventful day when you're an MK ); and I feel obligated to finish the last day before starting the current one and slowly over the week I fall back until I realise I'm 4 days behind... You can see why I don't like writing about the long gone past. And now is that I'm writing a blog entry to something that happened 2 months ago. Problem. However, the least I can do is have a good begin to my blog; so here goes. I left Senegal, W. Africa; it was a Thursday and the 17th of July. For the last week everything just didn't feel real; It felt like I was only going on a furlough trip - that I'd, in the next 3 months, land again safely on African soil and belong once more. And then 3 hours before our car was due to leave, it hit me. This is it. It's happening... there's no turning back, I'm going to have to ride the wave to the shore. Tonight ends an era; a chapter of my life. A new page that I'll have to trust the Lord will write. Many thoughts zoomed through my head those last hours. But most of all, memories. Memories of years back, everything I see is associated with some memory of the past. The people I met, and left. The actions, the laughs, the tears, the dreams and the games at our retreats. And that's what I will miss most - being reminded of my life. Looking back on those moments I can only describe the feeling as anxiety and regret. It is the identical feeling that I have before the large concert recital, or just before a long and hard competitive race. "I wish this wasn't happening!". You can't eat, sleep and even trying to distract yourself doesn't work. But it happened... it wasn't a bad dream; even though everything felt slightly unreal, and then sitting in the plane knowing that my life has changed - that it will never be like it was. What a powerful feeling! And what a scary reality. But, in all of this I had a divine peace about everything. Time and time again my Lord has proven himself faithful, even when I've forsaken and denied him like Peter. And one thing has really encouraging through out the months of re-entry. Through the chaos, I hold onto the fact that I am a stranger in this world. I do not belong here; I belong in a better place. And one day, one amazing day I fill fade away from this earth and begin my last ever re-entry - and that re-entry won't be difficult or hard in any way, but beautiful. That makes the difference for me. And while living forever, and no more sickness and pain excites me immensely; I think that the most special thing for me is love. One of my absolute favorite bands is Hillsong United and one song that has really... excited me is the song called "Where the love lasts forever":

Your mercy found me,
Upon the broken road,
And lifted me beyond my failing,
Into Your glory,
My sin and shame dissolved,
And now forever Yours I'll stand.

In love never to end,
To call You more than Lord,
Glorious friend.

So I throw my life upon all You are,
'Cause I know You gave it all for me,
And when all else fades,
My soul will dance with You,
Where the love lasts forever

Yes, God loves us the same now as He will when we are with him. But in heaven I believe that we will finally understand the full extent of his love; something that on earth we just cannot fathom. And to think that his love will last forever and ever; and the knowledge that not only does Christ love us, but also our brothers and sisters in Christ! Wow! Love that Christ showed on the cross, clearly visible for our now opened eyes to see. And that is why I call my blog 'longing for home'. This is my hope and strength and I truly can't wait for the time. I feel it in my soul; a sense of not belonging; here, on Earth.
And now, I am in Germany.
In an email to a friend, I described my life as if I were in the magical world of Narnia. My life as an MK has been special, almost magical in the things I experienced 'on the other side of the ocean'; my life was lived there. I grew up there; it's all I know. And then, suddenly I'm thrown back into the 'real world'; the world where I'm expected to be in by society. And it is different; but the right perspective and positive attitude is so important. I must realise that the culture here is different... it is not like Africa; but it's like where I am and it will be my home. My new life has begun; the Lord has blessed me already in countless ways... I pray that when my time goes to leave this life behind; perhaps a new chapter or a calling home, that these memories will be mixed in with the amazing memories from Africa.